How to Identify, Clarify and Validate Your Values, Part 2

This is a two-part series of articles to help you reevaluate what’s important to you, get clear about your values, decide how you want to express yourself authentically in the world, and create a vision for your life.

You’ll find Part 1 here. It’s a guide to help you identify your values and get clear about what truly matters to you.

Part 2 will help you narrow down your list to the top five to ten words or phrases that will serve to help you create a road map for how to get where you want to be. You’ll have guiding lights to help you make decisions and live life on your terms. You can feel alignment, congruence and consistency in your life.

Part 3, included in this article, will help you put those values to life and create positive energy towards that life you long to live.

Doesn’t that sound amazing?

So, if you haven’t already brainstormed and determined your core values click on over to Part 1 to find help. Then you’ll find links to come right back here and follow through with steps 2 and 3.

Now, here’s step two…

Narrowing down your list:

How many words or phrases did you come up with?

If you have five to ten, bravo! Skip on down to the section, “Clarify Your Values”.

If you have more than 10 that’s common….and okay. There are so many “ways” I want to live and be; I bet you feel the same.

Today’s goal: discover your core values—the ones that matter most, that must prevail in your life in order for you to function successfully and live your best, happiest life.

These will be your guiding principles, the denominators of all your choices. It would be too difficult to determine if everything in your life meets up to 25+ standards. But to default to a few core needs, to seek alignment with your strongest desires will bring powerful results for your life.

I challenge you to narrow down your list to five to ten words or phrases to live by.

So, what has stood out to you? Are you noticing any running themes? Are there words or phrases that keep coming up for you?

Questions and Tips to Narrow Down Your List

Answer the following questions; then we’ll work on the clarity for just your top five to ten values. You can read all of these pointers and go through your list again, or make each point a single exercise to review your list multiple times.

• Which words or phrases stuck out to you most, aroused your senses, caused reactions within your body like emotional charges? Circle these.

• Which words or phrases did you feel like you should choose but did not arouse excitement or any other emotion? Draw a line through these.

• If there are any words or phrases that are dependent on circumstances, such as who you are with, what job you hold, any if’s…nix those, too.

• Are any words or phrases simply unrealistic or impossible? Really think about this. If you have terms that are impossible to live out, you will remain stuck and miserable. I long for world peace and desire peace in my family, but what else does that desire require? Everyone has to go along with one person’s wishes, and no one can express their opinions or dislikes? Not realistic. Instead I hope that we handle conflicts peaceably, and I value mutual respect, which I believe can make that happen. I can hold on to the hope for peace, but I can’t make every decision, or expect everyone else to make every decision based on keeping peace.

Still need help?

Begin with your first selection and compare it to the next by asking yourself, “If I could only live with one of these, which would I choose?” Then graduate that choice and compare it with the next down your list. Continue this process until you’ve reached the end with one winner; then start at the top again and repeat as necessary.

If you are STILL struggling with this exercise, assure yourself that YOU CAN CHOOSE AND CHANGE YOUR MIND. In fact, you WILL change your mind as circumstances change in your life. My values today are not the same as when I was younger, single and without a child. So, this is just for now, in this season of your life, as you want to live right now.

Does that help???

Now, make a new list with your top five to ten values….and leave some space between for your next step.

Clarify Your Values

Now that you have identified your top five to ten values, you want to get really clear about what they mean to you and how your life must roll to live them out.

Two people can value ‘success’, for example, and hold different definitions and make different plans to achieve it. I might feel that ‘success’ is extremely important and relate it to emotional maturity, world contribution, and personal enlightenment. You might value ‘success’ and relate it to wealth, comfort for your family, and donation to charity. Same value expressed by different outcomes and lives.

So, if you value ‘success’, what does that mean to you? Define each value. Tell what it means to you. Think about where the idea originated and why. What would your life be like, look like, feel like if each particular value is held up.

What vision does each value create for you? For me, the value of ‘freedom’ creates a vision of entrepreneurship for myself, life on the hook for my little family, homeschooling for my son, unconditional acceptance offered for clients, friends, family, and others I meet.

How does each value call you to think and act? Is ‘love’ calling you to open your heart and believe you can have real love even if you’ve been alone for years? Has ‘family time’ always led you to work more productively in less hours, or decline extra after-hours offers?

Who are you when you live out these values? Who is in your life? What are you doing? Where do you spend most of your time? How do you feel?

Or ask ‘who would, what would, where would, how would….’

And finally, the most important step to solidify and actualize these values and ensure that they stand firm over time….

Validate and Live Out Your Values

Start by validating yourself.

Do you realize that you have value? Do you know that your worth comes naturally?

You don’t have to work hard to generate worth or prove that you are special. It may seem that way at times. But you were born with value. Believe it! Claim it! Say it every day.

Now… time to live out those core values.

Here are some examples of cultivating and living out some common values:

Adventure – If you’re a thrill-seeker or seem to get bored easily, you may have adventure close to your heart, and you’d be happiest with trying new experiences and new ways of doing everyday things. You won’t be happy with things getting too stale in your life.

Relationships – Valuing relationships usually includes finding all relationships important, not just romantic ones. This means that you would be happiest orchestrating positive interactions with your loved ones, friends, coworkers, etc. You will thrive spending quality time with others and nurturing relationships.

Spirituality – If you align with a certain religion or spiritual practice, then the beliefs of that practice are likely dear to your heart. You may find greater fulfillment by spending a lot of time studying and practicing your spiritual explorations.

Creativity – If you enjoy discovering and creating new things, perhaps it is one of your values. You’ll love living life feeling free to think outside the box and by putting creative spins on even the most mundane things. You’ll fuel your soul by engaging in more creative activities such as writing poetry, playing music, painting, etc

Legacy – There are many ways that you can make your mark on the world, if that’s one of your core values, and feel fulfilled in the present. You can help others through volunteer work, create something to help the world at large, or be a positive influence on others, and much more.

———————————————————————–

Your values determine your choices, create order in your world, and shape your destiny. Your future is as bright as the values you cultivate.

———————————————————————–

Now that you’ve taken the time to identify, clarify and validate your values, go forward empowered to live them out.