How to FEEL GREAT to Lose Weight Peacefully, Without Die-ting or Abusing Your Body

Have you been trying to lose weight?

Have you lost weight before but gained it all back or put on even more pounds?

If you answered yes to either question, you are not alone.

There are billions of men and women trying to lose weight in the world, some with great success, but most unsuccessfully even after multiple attempts.

I fall into the first camp. I graduated from college in 1994 about 50 pounds overweight. I remember going back home to visit family and friends and getting more and more comments about the weight I was putting on as the three years passed and my clothing size doubled.

The best comments, or worst depending on how you look at them, always ended with, “Oh, but you’re still cute”. Sometimes I was even “still beautiful”. It was what was inside that counted….

Sadly, inside I was a mess.

I had digestion issues with hospital visits to boot. My dashes around the softball diamond, as well as most activities slowed way down. My energy gradually drained along with my self-esteem.

But I’ve been interested in and studying health and fitness since Body Electric aired on PBS and Denise Austin was just beginning her shows. (Not familiar? See my college graduation date above…)

So I knew what to do. Cleaning up my diet and getting more physical were easier to do back home. My mother was a great example recording all those shows for us to exercise together. I loved getting back into working out and playing sports with old friends. I was lucky to have knowledge, support, and a side-job cleaning a gym….which led to teaching group fitness classes, which led to personal training, which led to combining my counseling practice with holistic health coaching now.

Fast-forward 26 years and I still weigh the same as I did when I lost those extra 50 pounds. Some fluctuation occurred over the years, including struggling for a year severely underweight (109 lbs at 5′ 7″) following a rare kidney disease, but besides that, never more than around five pounds up or down at a time.

Spending the last 26 years deeply entrenched in studying all things about physical, mental, spiritual, and relational health has helped me manage my weight and led me to help hundreds of others.

I won’t claim to have a secret, magical anything. There isn’t any one thing that will help everyone lose weight and keep it off. Also, this is a blog post, not a book or program description.

This is hope.

This is inspiration because you are worthy of a more healthy lifestyle. You deserve good information and a chance to open yourself up to a new perspective about losing weight.

Along with numerous diseases associated with being overweight, it just makes life harder, doesn’t it? It keeps you from enjoying life fully and wears you out.

But you’ve got this. You can drop pounds and keep them off for good; and you don’t have to starve yourself or run on the treadmill until you drop.

So, start with changing your mindset around that.

How to Create a Positive Mindset Around Weight Loss

Losing weight is rewarding and honoring yourself, your body and your capabilities. You can enjoy yourself, the process, and more freedom. It doesn’t have to be about deprivation and beating yourself up.

Find peace where you are right now. Rather than asking why you haven’t been able to lose weight or what’s wrong with you, ask, “What is my body telling me? What do I need?”

Rather than considering all the things to cut out, stop, and limit, consider the things that are missing.

Do you need more rest, balance, time alone, fresh air, time in nature, clean water, nourishment, planning time, fun, energy, help, support?

Look within and think about your career, relationships, finances, spirituality. How do you handle stress? How do you talk to yourself?

Every single thing in your life influences your weight. It’s just that your weight is most noticeable.

Most people think losing weight must come first. But losing weight isn’t the answer, it’s the reward….the reward that comes from massive self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-care and self-love. It comes from involving yourself in practices that nourish and honor yourself.

You’ve most likely already been depriving yourself of something: sleep, hydration, fun, beaches…??? The extra weight might be a condition your body has presented to you, a message, or protection. If you approach weight loss from a stressful state of control, deprivation, punishment, guilt, or treating yourself badly and try adding in a stressful diet and exercise regimen the weight will stay. You might lose some weight, but it will return.

So the first step is to start treating yourself well. Appreciate yourself and all your capabilities. Love yourself no matter how much you weigh. Look at the message behind your weight and what you need in your life right now. You’ll already feel lighter because you’ll have a better understanding of what is needed to create balance in your life.

Now you’re on your way to better health and lasting weight loss.

So, let’s talk about diets.

Dieting Without Die-ting

Diets have earned poor reputations because most people on a diet gain back the weight, sometimes even more weight.

Those who have tried diets without success have also earned poor reputations. Surely they lack discipline and willpower. They must not follow the plan correctly. Why can’t they just eat less or exercise more?

There are a couple reasons most dieting attempts fail:

1. We all have unique body types with different requirements for our genders, ages, ancestries, lifestyles, and to maintain our health.

2. Extreme remedies and restrictive solutions don’t work.

But dieting doesn’t have to be die-ting.

I prefer to refer to eating habits and food choices, as the word diet has some strong negative connotations. But the truth is, there are some good “meal plans” out there, if you will. There are some effective “eating guides” that work. And it’s just plain easier to talk about what you eat as your diet.

If you’re looking for healthy recipes, I’ve included a Recipe Guide with my program called RENEW: A Good Start Guide to Restore Your Body and Mind. The recipes are designed to help you FEEL GREAT, and mayyyybe lose weight! You’ll love them and the simple but effective 4-week self-care course, so click that link (or the photo) to check out the program now.

So, to diet or not to diet?

There are nuggets of wisdom to be taken from different diets. The key is choosing a meaningful, effective approach that works for your body, lifestyle and personality.

This may include—WILL include if you work on weight loss with me—learning intuitive eating and how to listen to your body and find what stabilizes you and gives you energy. It may also include—especially if you work with me—choosing a diet that closely matches your body type, gender, age, ancestry and lifestyle.

That’s the key for dieting without die-ting. It can be very convenient to have a plan already made, and in some cases whole meals already made. But make sure you do more research than listening to your best friend tell you about a diet that made her win the office party “shed the most pounds by summer contest.”

This guide from consumersadvocate.org gives you a solid run-down of five major diet plans on the market, plus bonus notes on seven others and 10 great tips about dieting. It was eye-opening for me to see how far the dieting market has come. There are some amazing apps out there to help you lose weight in rather sound ways. You’ll have to check out this article to see if there’s an app that might be right for you.

Losing weight isn’t just about counting calories, points, or fat grams. A lot of diet companies are picking up on this and trying to develop more holistic approaches to weight loss. I am especially appreciative of the ones including coaching. I believe the personal factor is so important, and working with a coach, a good coach who understands bioindividuality, is a key ingredient missing in most diet plans.

Having said all of that, I am a huge proponent of learning sound nutritional eating and developing inner wisdom around food. I believe dieting can be doable, fun and delicious if matched correctly to the individual. You just can’t depend on any commercial diet claims alone or what worked for someone you know.

Ask yourself what feels right to you? If you feel good about a diet plan, commercial or self-designed, you’ll more likely stick to it. I am partial to the Mediterranean Diet due to its focuses on mealtimes, traditional foods, natural sources and heart health. I also love the bioindividuality (unique body types and functional systems) focus of Ayurvedic Diets, which look at foods that are nourishing, balancing, and health enhancing for specific body types called Doshas. Losing weight is considered the bonus; and you will. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? But even these beautifully designed plans might not be best for a particular person.

There are many factors to consider for yourself, with your doctor, and for your lifestyle. But it is possible to find a sensible plan for eating that will work for you and that you will feel really good about.

Note: My program RENEW (mentioned a few paragraphs up) includes an Ayurvedic Dosha assessment!

The same goes for exercise.

Exercising Without Abusing Your Body

If you don’t feel good about lifting weights in front of tons of people grunting in the gym….if you hate the only group fitness class you can make it to after work….if running is only appealing to you as a method to get out the gym door….

….forget it all.

What type of fitness activity could you see yourself doing for the rest of your life?

This is an important question because a lot of people begin exercise regimens that they don’t really enjoy but they believe they can endure as long as it takes to lose a certain number of pounds. Maybe they stick with it, even compliment it with a great eating plan, and lose the weight.

Then what happens?

They quit. Often quitting is followed by self-deprecation and self-loathing.

They ask themselves, “Why can’t I keep the weight off? Why can’t I have better self-control? Do I really have to keep doing that to myself?”

Instead they should be asking, “Why don’t I look for something to do that isn’t boring, won’t confine me to a gym, won’t wear me out, won’t keep me away from my family so much, etc…”, whatever the challenge is.

You don’t have to grunt your way to fitness or beat up your body. You won’t find success if you fall on your face at bedtime every night.

Find some fun ways to build exercise into your lifestyle. Try getting out in nature more. Explore parks and outdoor spaces in your area. Even your local high school track has more fresh air and can be more interesting then a treadmill indoors. Pushups and lunges don’t seem so awful under a canopy of scented pines, live oaks or palm trees.

Short on time? Shorter, low impact intervals can be super effective. You never have to spend more than 30 minutes exercising. Even scheduling or sneaking in 10 minutes here and there could give you great results.

Lacking energy? I have a simple routine I call “lazy sun-salutations” that I do on the floor or in bed sometimes when I just don’t feel great. It’s just enough to perk me up and keeps me on track. Energy creates energy. When you feel in a slump, think of something you’ve done or could do that’s refreshing and invigorating. A trip to a pool might be the answer, or just a stretching session on the porch. You’ll feel better and stronger faster than you think.

Are you already away from your family a lot? I have become the queen of sneaking in workouts while counting or hiding in games of hide-and-seek, doing leg lifts or glute squeezes under the table during Monopoly games, making a playground become our ninja warrior field, encouraging nature hikes and lots of swimming, etc. Be the team leader and rally your whole family to get moving together.

It’s worth it for all of you! You’ll become stronger fighters against some diseases, cancers, bone and joint issues, stress, anxiety, depression. You’ll add fun and variety to otherwise often mundane time at home and strengthen bonds.

Conclusion:

All of your efforts are worth it. Your health, your body, and your life are the only things you can control in the world.

Love yourself, accept yourself, and be yourself. Set goals for your health, choose a diet or eating style that is ultimately satisfying, and find ways to revitalize and strengthen your body.

If you need help, I’m always here. And….I do have a healthy living and weight loss program not listed on my Services Page, so get in touch if you are interested!)

Related articles:

Working Out and Staying In

Keeping Your Physical Health in Check