How to Identify, Clarify and Validate Your Values

What’s important to you? What are your personal dreams and passions? What are your values?

Are those truly based on your beliefs, or have you been living by a set of rules all of your life and not sure they describe how you want to live now?

If you’re confused, unsure, or feeling lost, here is help for you.

This is a two-part series of articles to help you reevaluate what’s important to you, create a vision for your life, and decide how you want to express yourself authentically in the world.

Once you take the steps to determine, clarify and validate your values, you can create a road map for how to get where you want to be. You’ll have guiding lights to help you make decisions and live life on your terms. 

Struggling with boundary issues?

This series will help you get to know yourself, strengthen your self-esteem, and prevent suffering from the inner conflict that comes from being jerked around in relationships.

Trying to make a difficult choice or change in your life?

Right choices and lasting change come from listening to your inner voice and your higher power and from paying attention to and aligning with your core values.

It’s more than choosing words; it’s choosing YOU. It’s getting clear about what truly matters to you and what an authentic life would be like for you so that you can have harmony within. In this crazy, unpredictable world, you can feel alignment, congruence and consistency in your life.

This series will help you figure out the essence of you so that you can live your best life right now and change your life as you deem necessary. It will help you connect with yourself, open your mind, and listen to your body, heart and spirit.

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Don’t miss the second post in this series or any others! Sign up for my email newsletter to get the links sent directly to your inbox. You’ll also receive my free Holistic Wellness Inventory and Goal Setting Worksheet. If you’re looking to up-level your life, it’s a great start.

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You have freedom, choice, and the opportunity to find great satisfaction in life. No strings attached, only value-based choices.

Note: This is a good exercise to practice every few months or yearly. Values may change with different seasons of life. Your income level may require you to choose one over another. A crisis may provoke a shift in your values. A quality may become second nature to you and not require so much focus. So, I recommend you save or bookmark each article in this series and review them from time to time.

Now, here’s step one…

Identify Your Values

Consider what’s important in these categories, or areas of your life:

Write down all that resonate with you, then you can follow my instructions in the second post to help you narrow down to your top 5-10.

Today’s goal: Identify all the value words and phrases that appeal to you right now. The next article in the series will help you narrow your list down, but today just allow yourself the freedom to explore and brainstorm.

Here are some questions and examples to help trigger your mind. You could just run through them and see what your mind gets drawn to; or make some coffee or tea, grab your journal, and really give this a deep dive.

What type of lifestyle do you live or want to live?

Do you travel a lot or wish you would? Are you a homebody? Do you like freedom? Do you love following schedules? Is wealth important to you; and what kind of lifestyle does that provide? Are you a minimalist or want to cut back? Do you just want rock ’n roll?!

What’s important to you in your home?

Comfort? Coziness? Picturesque beauty? Neatness? Function? Color? Wide open space? Does everything need to be in the perfect place? Do you constantly deep clean or just like it clutter-free? Is your preferred ambiance loud, light and bright; or quiet, dark and subdued? Do you care if visitors see your messes? Is it important for your home to float, bob up and down in a quiet bay, and catch wind sometimes—or is that just me?

What do you, or did you look for in a job or career?

Professionalism with dress, demeanor, and production…or casualness? Freedom to do as you please and make your own schedule and project lists…or structure and protocols? Solo work…or team work? Do you prefer to work outdoors or indoors, with your hands or your mind, with your body or your laptop? Do you feel passionate about helping people, creating things, solving problems, numbers and statistics, science, history, teaching, researching? What would you do in or for the world without pay?

What is important to you in your relationships?

Trust? Honesty? Respect? Togetherness? Separateness? Fun? Connection? Equality? Do you believe the man is the head of the household and a wife should be submissive? Do you believe in open marriages or strict monogamy? What do you believe makes someone a good friend?

How do you have fun?

Do you prefer large parties, small gatherings, intimate one-on-one activities, or doing things alone? Do you look for events to attend that will get you rolling on the floor laughing or places to go that just make you feel good? Are you always seeking something new, or do you have some regular fun activities that you make sure you frequently fit in? Maybe you prefer seriousness. Maybe more serene, thoughtful, contemplative activities are your style. Writing, researching, talking about life with my husband, and staring at stars on the deck at night with my son are things I consider very fun, but I’m not laughing while doing any of those.

How do you relax and unwind?

What helps? Music? Quiet? Views? Art? Bubbles? Wine? Do you need physical activity to clear your head, or a hammock on the deck? Are you able to identify triggers that keep you wound up? Knowing these could help you realize what you need in your life. Is this question difficult for you? If so, is it because you don’t think it’s necessary? Do you think rest and sleep are luxuries, or wastes of time? 

When do you feel happiest?

I mean…what lights you up and makes you come alive? What brings you pure joy, pure bliss? Beautiful skies? Beautiful people? Perfect harmonies? A job well done? Newness? Tradition? Catching a wave? Catching a kiss?

What enables you to live life as you want?

Maintaining your health? Having help or assistants? Money? Free time? Planning ahead? Partnership or shared responsibility?

What accomplishments are you most proud of?

Go way back for this one. You might remember something that really sparked your enthusiasm once and that you may need to revive in your life. Also consider accomplishments that you were sad about going unnoticed. Deep longing can also tell us what we value.

What goals do you have?

Consider personal, work related, long-term, short-term, serious and fun goals. What do you strive to achieve daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, for a lifetime?

What do you stand for?

Why would you challenge or stick up for someone? What do you consider is right or wrong in the world? How do you want to be known or remembered? How do you want your obituary to be written one day? What do you hope people say about you behind your back now?

What types of experiences do you seek?

Where do you go on vacations? Do you prefer exotic and thrilling adventures, intellectual tours, soul-fueling solitude, or another type of experience? What do you enjoy doing on a regular basis alone, or with friends or family? Date nights? Girls’ nights? Game nights? Morning meditations? Do you love to feel surprised, mentally stimulated, peaceful, elated, grounded, powerful, in control? Do you want to soak up sun and drift on the sea? (Just me again?)

What types of presents do you ask for?

Perhaps you value free choice if you love gift cards. Requesting tickets or memberships might signify a value for certain types of experiences. Asking for material things doesn’t mean you value materialism—if you do, however, no judgement. It might mean you value thriftiness and simply allow yourself treats for special occasions.

What else do you constantly long for?

What else? And what else???

Finally, here is a link to a long list of value words.

It might be helpful if you are still stuck or can’t think of appropriate words to describe how you feel. See if anything resonates with you. You can print it out and make notes, circles, cross-outs, additions, an airplane… 

Otherwise, write out your own list. Give yourself the freedom to list as many values (words or phrases) as you want. 

Ready for Part 2:

My very next blog post, “How to Identify, Clarify and Validate Your Values: Part 2″, will help you narrow down to five to ten values. Yes, five to ten….that’s the goal.

Don’t forget to sign up for my email list so you can be notified when my next blog posts are ready! You could just keep coming back here, or make it easy on yourself and sign up for my e-newsletter to get the links sent directly to your inbox. You’ll also receive my FREE Holistic Wellness Inventory and Goal Setting Worksheet.

Happy listing!