How to Shatter Blocks and Stay Happy in Your Relationship

Keeping things happy and harmonious in a relationship isn’t easy. 

And when you’re unhappy in a relationship, it affects the rest of your life. The disharmony can lead to depression, anxiety, irritability or strife that you carry with you at work, with family, even while neglecting personal health habits. 

Not knowing how to remove the blocks is extremely frustrating.

You start relationships with high expectations of connection, partnership and love. You want and work hard to keep peace and harmony.

But instead, you might find yourself down, full of discord, unhappy, wondering what went wrong and how to fix it.

Here are five powerful ways to bust down blocks that prevent connection so you can ensure happiness and harmony in your relationships.

1. Consider your relationship with yourself.

How you relate to yourself reflects how you relate to others. If there’s something you’re having trouble accepting about someone, it’s often because you struggle with it within yourself.

When you take responsibility for what’s happening within you, you give yourself power to create positive change from within.

For example, if you are upset that your partner, your boss, your mother doesn’t acknowledge or praise you enough, ask yourself how often YOU are acknowledging or complimenting yourself or others. Have you started to doubt yourself? Have you stopped listening to yourself? Is the problem really with your perception? Are you living in fear?

Ask, “What is the problem within me?” 

I believe life mirrors back the vibrations we put out. What vibrations are you sending?

2. Consider your relationship stories.

The more you complain, the more you solidify the “story” about a relationship. The story you keep telling becomes your reality.

If you keep telling yourself or others that your partner neglects you, you will keep feeling neglected. If you keep saying your partner doesn’t help enough, you will keep feeling like you’re doing it all.

But….you can change the story.

Start recognizing the ways in which your partner does pay attention to you, and you can change the belief. How does your partner help out, or try?

Your perception will begin to change as will your beliefs. You might even start acting in ways that are more encouraging. Most importantly, you will start to see more of what you long for.

3. Consider total acceptance.

When you don’t accept your partner as he or she is, you’re resisting them and may come off as controlling. This can become a huge block.

When you feel triggered and your emotions start to rise, try to withhold judgement. Try being okay with your partner not giving you a lot of attention or not helping much. Could you be okay with your boss not praising you? Could you just accept that compliments are difficult for some people to express?

Exercise a curious mind and explore what’s going on inside of you. Try to let down the wall of resistance and let go of the drama. Replace it with acceptance and prevent the conflict that would usually follow.

4. Consider different expressions of love.

We often want what we give. For a loan or a babysitting swap this is reasonable. In love, friendships, and other close relationships not so much. 

If we freely give compliments to others, it can be disappointing when we hardly hear any back. When we think we do more work than others we can start to feel unappreciated and resentful.

We can mistakenly believe that what’s important to us is actually what is most important.

For example, when we feel unappreciated it’s often because what we are doing means much more to us than just part of a daily routine. Your partner might see regular housework as just part of daily life. Your boss might see your work as just part of the job.

On the other hand, you might see your work as pouring love into your home or project, touching the lives of those around you. You can express this, and it might be helpful. 

Or….you can look for other ways your partner or others show appreciation and love.

Does your partner spend a lot of time with you or bring you special little gifts for no reason? Does your boss pat you on your back as you part ways? These are easy to pass off if you have expectations of reciprocal acts of service or want to hear “thank you” more often. But don’t take these other acts for granted.

Look for ways in which others show love, appreciation and affection. Relish and find joy in what you do receive. You will most likely receive more of what you really desire as well.

5. Consider cultivating your connection with your spirit and/or higher power.

Spend some quiet, reflective time connecting to a higher power, your higher self, spirit, God, the universe, nature, whatever you believe brings greatness to this world.

Tune in to your spirituality by praying, reading the Bible, meditating, doing yoga, repeating positive affirmations in little pockets of time, not just in the morning or at bedtime. 

Think of ways throughout the day that you can nourish yourself and unwind. Tune in to your body for cues about your needs for movement, rest, good food, hydration. These primary connections matter.

Take care of yourself—the only way you can show up for anything or anyone as your best self is if you bring out your best. Stay hydrated, get enough quality sleep, find an enjoyable way to move your body every day, eat the most nutritious versions of the foods you love. Get massages, meet regularly with a friend who lifts you up, go play golf or tennis, or go surfing.

Make your health and well-being a priority. Do what you need to do, what you’ve been missing terribly, what will re-energize you and keep you going when life’s demands press hard.

Need some help practicing SELF-CARE? Check out my email course RENEW! It’s a Good Start Guide to Help You Restore Your Body and Mind. You’ll get TONS of ideas for eating, exercising, sleeping, and just taking care of yourself well….including my Food-Mood Recipe Guide! Click HERE to see why you will love it.

Tuning in to and cultivating a strong relationship with your higher power will give you the sense of love and connection you crave. Your mind will be soothed, you’ll feel more whole, and you’ll take pressure off relationships in your life.

He didn’t notice your hard work? That’s ok. You have God watching. She didn’t tell how smoothly you handled something? No biggie. You’ve got the universe on your side.

These are powerful strategies to help you stay happy in your relationships. They require you to step up, take responsibility, and bust through blocks. Try one strategy for a while. See the difference and imagine how beautiful your relationships might be if you try just one more…. And then another.

In the comments, I’d love to read about how you plan to implement one of these strategies. And if I can help, send me a message here.

You might also like to read: “The ART of Loving a Man” or “The ART of Loving a Woman”.