How to Stop Putting Life on Hold and Enjoy It Now

Are you putting your life on hold?

What do you say you have to put off, don’t deserve, should save for later, can’t do right now?

I spent years putting dreams on hold, worrying about what others might think, feeling guilty, devaluing myself, waiting for circumstances to be just right.

But no longer.

How about you? 

Do you convince yourself, like I have before, that you are being practical, you’re saving for something bigger, you must have a perfect plan, or that the time will come, you just have to wait?

Of course it’s good to plan, to aspire and dream, to set goals. We need to prioritize and make some sacrifices. We know that the best rewards come from diligent and sometimes long efforts. 

But depriving yourself can be damaging. You can hold on to your plans too tightly, sacrifice too much, put desires off until they aren’t available anymore. 

If you constantly believe one thing will make life perfect, something will always get in the way; and something will always come up next.  

We have to figure out how to enjoy our lives now.

Keep reading to find out how to stop putting your life on hold!

Consider these seven sets of questions:

1. Are you expecting everything to be better if you do or get that one thing?

I’ve often had this mindset, only to discover that I was still not satisfied—I always had one more thing I wanted in order to be happy. 

I firmly believe I am married to the right guy, I have the son I always dreamed of, I am maintaining my ideal weight, and yet, I still want more. I always will, but I will choose to always celebrate what I have and what I have accomplished, even the little steps I take towards a big goal. 

There’s no defined finish line in life. We have to raise our arms up and cheer each step of the way. 

Consider how you can derive instant happiness as you truck along the path and explore your surroundings and options.

2. What emotions and beliefs are keeping you stuck?

Fear? Self-doubt? Guilt? Perfectionism?

Where did those come from?

Do you say any of these?

• I might fail. I can’t try anything new.
• I’m not good enough, smart enough, tough enough. I won’t follow through. I don’t deserve goodness.
• I can’t think of myself. I must put others first.
• Everything has to run smoothly.

What else?

Think back to where these statements came from. Did someone in your past say these things to you? Did you give up on yourself somewhere along the way?

You don’t have to believe these words now.

How can you challenge or reframe these thoughts? 

Examples: 

• I might succeed. 
• It’s difficult to learn something new, and I will offer myself patience. 
• I’m getting better at this every day. 
• I can start reading, watching tutorials and learning more. 
• I can build up strength for this. 
• I do follow through on a lot of things. 
• I do deserve goodness. 
• It’s okay to fulfill my needs. 
• It’s okay and necessary to make myself a priority. 
• Things may not run smoothly, and I will adapt.

Lift and empower yourself to move forward now.

3. Are you putting your needs aside to serve others? Do you feel guilty when you do anything for yourself? Do you also feel resentful, frustrated or exhausted? 

Are you afraid that if you take some “Me Time” it will appear that you are not keeping up with the house or your work? Well, how will it appear if you collapse from exhaustion or break down in tears from overworking and over-stressing? 

If you don’t pay attention to your own needs you could actually hurt those around you. Your resentment, frustration or exhaustion will lay bare. 

To give others your best, you have to take care of yourself so you can be your best. 

When I wait for my husband to volunteer to wake up with our son so I can go for an early morning run without guilt, I never get that offer or go for that run. When I just wake up and quietly grab my running shoes and head out, it turns out that the two wake up later and do quite well without me. Upon my return we all reunite with love and joy.

Maybe the only one demanding your constant service to others is you. Maybe you can give others opportunities to grow and fend for themselves while you recharge. 

You obviously are not neglectful and care deeply for others. Care deeply for you, too.

4. Are you depriving yourself?

There is no reason you can’t treat yourself to that beautifully patterned maxi dress just because you have not lost 40 pounds yet.

You deserve to look and feel beautiful now! 

You can resell it, take it in, or pass it on when you do lose the weight. 

Again, look at the reasons your putting off your happiness and examine the emotions behind them. 

Are you avoiding purchasing that maxi dress because you are afraid you will look horrible or bloated in it? Maybe the real issue to work on is body confidence. For now, could you compromise and buy a beautiful, flattering sheath dress?

You are worthy of happiness; and self-deprivation never leads to change. Turning yourself away from your desires won’t help you lose extra pounds or look at yourself differently in the mirror.

Treating yourself like the respectable human being that you are, worthy of love and good treatment, is the way to reach your goals.

5. Are you struggling with perfectionism?

I love planning, mapping, and creating a detailed schedule. And I used to get extremely frustrated when things didn’t go according to my grand plan, or if something became more difficult than I imagined. 

I still get flustered, but I’ve learned to let go of the false sense of control and the pressure I put on the situation. 

Sometimes things work out better when I accept a deviation. 

When we had a dockside garden, I would check on it daily, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw all the little clusters of seedlings from where my son randomly scattered seeds, ignoring my perfectly planned spaces. He didn’t understand the principles of companion planting and spacing, and I was actually happier for it. 

Perfectionism can lead to all-or-nothing thinking and get in the way of something being really good. But we can be happy where we are while striving for more, and we can seek pleasure in the pieces along the way. 

It’s not about lowering your expectations (in case you fear that you won’t try hard if you don’t have high expectations). 

It’s about expecting what you can reach, and realizing that life can change. 

Also, it’s about following a plan with an open mind and immersing yourself without attachment or trying to live up to preconceived notions.

6. Are you covering up fear?

For YEARS I used reason and rationality to put off starting a business, a holistic coaching practice incorporating all my experience in personal, marriage and family counseling, personal training, and health coaching—a long-time dream.

I told myself I needed to stay a little longer in my secure job, save money, find the right certification program, find time to complete a program, get an LPC, get a PhD, wait until my son is older, etc., etc…

The truth: I was afraid that others might think I should stay at my secure job, that I might not be effective or successful enough, I might not sustain a perfect marriage, I might acquire some awful illness that would make me less of an influence in the health realm. 

But something burned inside of me long and strong enough that no tampering could hold back. I had to realize my dream, or life was going to fly by, my marriage was going to become a scapegoat, my body was going to crumble from the explosion, and my health was going to be smothered in ashes.

(Spoiler alert: I started my life, love and wellness coaching business several years ago, and it turns out I can rock it! I wish I went for it a long time ago…. See?)

Your worry might be practical—perhaps you don’t have the money to go back to school or refurnish your home. But is it possible there’s another reason? Could your subconscious mind or ego be protecting you with the distractions of reason and rationality?

Write down and deeply examine or talk with someone about your thoughts and concerns.

Any ambivalence?

Perhaps that job change really isn’t right for you, but maybe you’re worried about how a new schedule will affect your family and how your household is run, so you’ve brushed off talking to your spouse about it. 

When you think of having something new or nicer, do you dismiss your wishes because you truly can’t afford it, or do you cringe at the thought of what your thrifty sister might say about your “extravagance”?

What is smothering your flame? What could you be rockin’ right now?

7. Do you think this is just how life should go?

Do you see your life as unalterable? Is it difficult to dream of taking different steps or alternate routes? 

Does the idea of changing trajectory bring on anxiety? Is it distressing to even contemplate a new path? 

Recognize that these perceptions were constructed, and if not challenged will leave you stuck.

You are allowed to expand your mind, ignite your imagination, look beyond your experiences, question assumptions, think innovatively, deviate from the herd. PLEASE TRY.

The next step is to stop putting your life on hold and strike balance.

Decide right now to live more fully, find more happiness, and love your life.

If you need more support, I can help you. I’ve moaned and groaned like a champ, but I’ve discovered how to stop waiting for things to happen and how to start feeling satisfied. 

I can help you relieve yourself from guilt, conquer your fears, balance your work and self-care, manage your expectations, and bring your dreams to life. I’ll help you stop putting your life on hold. Get in touch today. Click here.

You also might enjoy my Wellness Inventory and Goal Setting Worksheets (Help-sheets!). Two pages to help you assess main areas of your life, celebrate your current successes and plan steps to live a life you love.

And if you really want to do something special for yourself, I think you’ll love my 4 week email course, RENEW, that will guide you through focusing on one mind-body renewal topic each week.

It’s the perfect gateway to help you stop putting your life on hold. RENEW stands for:

• Restore
• Energize
• Nourish
• Empower
• Win back….YOU!

You’ll feel super motivated and gain the momentum you need to create a life you love. Check out the contents of RENEW below:

Click on the image above to learn more about RENEW and see how it works. I think you’ll LOVE it like so many others have so far.