Manage Holiday Mania, Part 4: Dealing with the Actual Holidays and People

It’s almost time to put it all to the test, and not only do you have the actual holidays inching closer… 

—there will be people there as well.

But you’ve got this!

In Part 1 of this holiday survival series, you worked on your mindset and hopefully you’re feeling a little more holiday cheer.

Part 2 guided you in ramping up your self-care efforts and formulating a game plan for maintaining your fitness goals and energy levels. So, you’re confident that food spread on a table won’t override your plans for balance and moderation.

And after reading Part 3 you know what to do for yourself if the overwhelm monster starts creeping up.

But what about dealing with the other people who will be around?

Family, and sometimes old friends, can be spoiling triggers.

The holidays mean different things for everyone.

You don’t have to take on the emotions of others. You can maintain your own positive energy and lessen the negative impact from others.

Hey, there! Did you know you can download this whole 4-part series in one awesome SURVIVAL GUIDE? You’ll have everything you need in one printable PDF, including supplemental journal pages, to SAIL through the holidays. CLICK RIGHT HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE GUIDE NOW: Manage Holiday Mania: A FREE Holiday Survival Guide

Most importantly, be aware of how you show up.

This is where you have the most control—actually it’s the only thing of which you have control.

How you show up can have tremendous impact; like attracts like.

• Express joy and gratitude, and you will see it, too.
• Expect things to be good, better or different.
• Remember that in every family and in groups of long-term friends, members fall into roles; these roles usually represent how each used to be, not how they are now.
• See that people could be different. Aren’t you?
• Be the feeling you want to experience. Be relatable, open, patient and loving. And by the way, you ARE lovable, so it’s okay for you to act like it.
• Be a harbor of good cheer, not stress.

Then….

Prepare yourself to deal with people and all those frustrating direct or side comments.

You know, the annoying questions and critiques regarding your love life, career, diet, personal choices….

• Don’t let them get to you. The frustration often comes because you want them to stop, of course. But stopping or changing others is out of your control, so try to let the comments go. Imagine the comments rolling off your shoulders.
• Try to redirect conversations. Lead the focus back to the meaning of the holiday, the most positive elements: beauty, connections, heart-warming experiences, things for which to be thankful.
• Boost your self-confidence! Reassure yourself that you are on your right path in life, even if you still need to work on some things—as we all do; and you don’t need everyone else to understand.
• Don’t take anything personally. The negativity is most likely not about you.
• Have a script or two in mind for quick, non-confrontational responses, such as: “Thanks for your concern. I’m really enjoying my life right now.” “I feel really good about how X is going, and I want to enjoy time with my family right now.” “I appreciate you letting me know how fattening this dessert is. Thanks! I’m just going to enjoy it right now.” And smile. Make it sincere, not facetious.
• If you start feeling jealous or envious of others, you can turn yourself around by expressing gratitude and joy for others. This really works!
• Refrain from making negative comments to others. The temptation may arise, but you have tools to be stronger.
• Be conscious of your limitations. How much togetherness can you handle? How many parties is enough? What amount of time can you spend at each gathering before you might need to escape? If you’re a social introvert like me, these are important questions to also talk about with your spouse or with whoever you might attend functions.
• Plan a getaway spot: a bathroom, a porch swing, a balcony. Have a strategic place in mind where you can briefly retreat and recharge yourself.
• Think of who might be your saving grace; keep your eye on that person when choosing a seat or when you need to seek a redeeming character.

And, alas….

Find ways to connect back to yourself.

• Set an intention every morning, and reclaim it before you enter any home or event. Remember the feeling you’re going for this year (from Part 1). I wrote more about setting intentions here.
• To ensure a usual bedtime routine, take along your favorite essential oils, candles, downloaded meditations, books or other reading materials.
• After each social engagement, or at the end of each day throughout the season, ask yourself what you need to feel good. What do you need to do to feel good about yourself, your body, your life choices?

Finally, remind yourself that the holidays will pass. There will be life after.

If you’ve followed along the series and taken some time to contemplate and incorporate some tips, hopefully your holidays won’t be so stressful or exhausting.

I hope you get through the season with strength and that you find joy and inspiration for the new year.

If not, I’m here for you, and you can contact me any time.

If you found something helpful, I’d love to hear about your success. Come back and comment, or send me a private email.

Remember you can download the whole series in one awesome Holiday Survival Guide right HERE.

Here are the rest of the posts in this series:

Part 1 — Hone in on a happy holiday mindset.

Part 2 — Keep your physical health in check

Part 3 — Maintain emotional balance and mental stability.

Happy Holidays, with love.

Live, love and be well!

Jen